What is Commitment Phobia & Relationship Anxiety?
Commitment issues in women have started knocking on relationship doors as well and more and more women have been coming forward with. There can be many reasons why some of us find relationships hard to maintain, but if Those who have a commitment phobia feel real anxiety about It's the same with women, as soon as they get a great guy one of the first. Here's what it means if the idea of being in a relationship freaks you out. if people who express anxiety about relationship issues were happier solo . of mistakes: “There are no narratives for women, outside of marrying and.
We were good friends who were in a relationship going nowhere, but pretending it was going somewhere. And, we did that until one of us finally decided the other deserved better, which is actually another commitment-phobic cop-out. Regardless, I breathed a sigh of relief. I dated a couple of nice guys who seemed to really love my personality, showed me consistent attention and thought about the possibility of getting to know me better.
But, I went running, screaming in the opposite direction. Instead, I set my sights on the guy who barely returned my phone calls and texts. He was distant, disappeared for days or weeks and he made sure I didn't feel special for too long. He wasn't giving up anything in his life for me. He was the one who made my stomach flip and the one I got excited over when he finally gave me a sliver of attention.
There's nothing a commitment-phobic loves more than a guy who has no intention of ever committing. It's a relationship of torturous relief. Once I became aware of my commitment phobia, I began to examine all my major life decisions and I realized that I have avoided commitment in almost every single area. I don't own anything. I remember being shocked when I was at a job for seven years, because I usually left after two years.
My living situation changed almost every two-to-four years like clockwork.
Confessions of a Commitment-Phobic Woman | HuffPost
I thought about buying a house, but the thought of a year mortgage made me sweat. I haven't even committed to a cell phone plan. The only thing I've ever committed to was writing. I have done everything to create the appearance that I'm working towards huge commitments in my life while dancing around or subconsciously sabotaging them. What am I scared of?
I'm terrified of making the wrong decision and feeling trapped in my life.
I'm scared of choosing the wrong guy, the wrong career, and what if they upgrade my phone while I'm locked in a two-year plan?
Two years is a long time. But, seriously, as long as I don't make a decision or a commitment, I feel free. But, in choosing freedom, I miss out on all the benefits of being committed.
I also avoid all the other disappointments that can come from being committed. I think the biggest one is the fear of abandonment and rejection. In my mind, I can't be rejected if my heart is never fully invested.
I'm fine with being alone, but I loved having someone to come home to. I think there is a part of me that would flourish in commitment. And, as the years pass, I know it's less likely to happen.
Commitment phobia may be an asset in your twenties because it's fine to be unstable while you are still figuring things out and suitors are plenty.
Check These Commitment Issues in Women. Men are Not the Only Ones
Commitment issues in women have started knocking on relationship doors as well and more and more women have been coming forward with their trepidation and fear of committing to someone.
What leads to this phobia? Why is it that women, who essentially require security, are opting getting out of a setup a relationship that offers it? Confused, confounded and in need of answers? Why Do Women Fear Commitment? Commitment issues - no matter in which sex - do not develop overnight. There are several factors that lead to the fear of commitment in women.
Many of these factors are psychological in nature - several experiences that a woman has in her early and growing years have a deep impact on her psyche and determine her behavior patterns. Childhood Factors A person's childhood has a great impact on their behavior patterns.
If a girl has closely observed a bad marriage or witnessed an abusive relationship which had instances of domestic violence, bitter fights and insulting words being hurled. As a result, she might associate marriage or relationships as being bad, something that leads to a lot of pain. If she grows up with this thought process, she might be scarred for life and never be able to commit to someone for the fear of things going bad.
Abandonment If either parent has abandoned her as a child and that loss and hurt has led to her developing abandonment issues in early childhood, it might translate over to her youth as well and she will be wary of single parenting. Similarly, if she has been dealing with these relationship issues in her early dating years and has had an equally bad fallout from them, she'll find it difficult to commit to anyone.
A woman who has been abandoned in her childhood fears that she might be abandoned again and will have to go through the hurt and pain as she did in her past. Thus, she might subconsciously avoid committing to a person and giving any relationship a fair chance. Bad Relationship History A bad relationship where a woman's partner has been abusive, violent, insulting or has cheated on her, and that has led to hurt and loss of self-esteem and pride, then she'll develop a deep-rooted fear of committing to any new relationship.
She'll be constantly worried that the relationship will turn out exactly like the last one and avoid getting into anything serious to avoid the pain.
Check These Commitment Issues in Women. Men are Not the Only Ones
A woman with a bad relationship history might never fully commit to anything in the relationship and distance herself from her partner when things threaten to become too personal and intense. That way, if the relationship does not work out, she can always assure herself that she never invested in it fully anyway.
It sort of becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Healing Time Many women get into rebound relationships to deal with the mind-numbing emptiness and hurt of the previous relationship. In their mind though, they are still learning to come to terms and get a grip of their lives without 'him'. In such a situation, they are just not ready to commit to a new relationship and give it their all.
Their mind is still dealing with the issues of the past and it is way too soon to commit. Emancipation In earlier times when women didn't work, were not independent or self-sufficient, and were brought up with the sole aim of marrying, looking after the needs of their home and serving the husband, the issues of wanting something more from a relationship or the fear of getting into a relationship or having commitment issues may have never even made way into the thought process.
As times changed and women began to become self-sufficient, they no longer needed men for financial support. They could take their own decisions and dictate their own terms in life. This independence could well be the reason for why some women have developed commitment issues.
Being in a relationship might be equaled to losing one's independence and they definitely do not want to give up living on their own terms.
Signs of Commitment Issues A woman who is commitment phobic where relationships are concerned will usually also be phobic about other things in her life that require her to commit to them. For example, getting a pet. If you carefully observe her behavior patterns, you will see that she will not want to be tied down to anything, which according to her, expects too much from her.
A commitment phobic woman backs out of plans at the last minute, it means she is afraid of committing and that the pressure of being answerable to people or a situation where people are dependent on her is a lot for her to deal with. If she with commitment issues changes her career streams very often, there is a high chance that she might be commitment phobic as well.
Women who are commitment phobic have a string of very short relationships.