Love and honesty: what we hide and why we lie - HelloGiggles
Above everything else, relationships are supposed to be truthful and honest. So the moment you suspect your partner is lying to you, it can shake the Someone with nothing to hide will be open and honest about their day. Some refer to lying as 'relationship termites.' In my opinion, the importance of emotional honesty isn't quantified by the individual instances or. Secrets and unfolding lies in a relationship disqualify authenticity will tell you that the cover-up was worse that the behavior being hidden.
Love and honesty: what we hide and why we lie
Even there were times we told ourselves that we were doing it to not to hurt another person. We all know that lying is bad. How big is the difference between hiding and lying? At first sight, hiding seems very innocent in comparison to lying.
If you have nothing to gain and your purpose is to protect the other person from pain or grief, then not telling is may be the right thing to do and therefore acceptable.
For example, if a loved one has just died and a doctor tells a loved one that the person died quietly and without pain when in fact the doctor knows differently, it is probably the right thing for the doctor to have done.
- The Impact of Secrets and Lies in a Relationship: A Closer Look
What if you have something to gain. Might be love, attention, trust, time or only not to loose any of these. Depending on the situation, not telling to truth or delaying it might make you liar as well. If your intention is to save yourself from trouble or grief over something you have done that you should not have done, or did not do that you should have done, then not telling is probably the same as lying. This is because your main purpose is to deceive.
Why are we interested? Do we understand the impact of secrets and lies in our own relationships? Secrets A secret is defined as something done, made or conducted without the knowledge of other people.
When hiding is lying
When one of those people is a spouse or partner — we not only wonder why, we wonder how it jeopardizes that relationship. Secrets Realistically, no relationship involves full disclosure at all times. One definite way to destroy a relationship and dilute passion is to demand constant connection, disclosure and no space away from your partner.
No one fantasizes about someone who never leaves his or her side. Strong couples are usually are made up of independent people who are comfortable being dependent on each other but retain a clear sense of self and identity.
Whether you have a hamburger at work or get a pedicure at lunchtime, it is probably not necessary that such events be shared. The fact that you thought the woman on the coffee line looked great or you secretly hate the holidays may or may not matter.Relationship Problems: Keeping Secrets and Telling Lies - Antonio Borrello
A measure of whether you are doing something that will jeopardize your relationship is whether or not you need to keep it secret from your partner. Reasons for Secrets There are many feelings that prompt the keeping of a secret from a partner.
When hiding is lying…
Secrets depend upon the nature and trust in the relationship and the personalities of the partners. If a marriage is demanding and authoritative, fear of judgment or anger for everything from going out with friends to spending too much on groceries may be kept secret.
If a partner feels shame or self-blame for addictive behavior, misfortunes like the loss of a job or even fear of medical results, secrets might be kept. In the case of interest in someone outside the relationship, secrets are often driven by the fantasy, flirtation or wish for something that is not happening in the relationship. Often there is the illusion of having a marriage and a secret relationship.
While differing in rationale and threat to the integrity to a relationship, the problem with secrets is they disqualify authenticity with a partner and preclude discussion or resolution of feelings or issues. The existence of a secret relationship is incompatible with commitment to a partner. Self-Reflection on Secrets Recognizing the realistic need for separate space with partners, it is worth reflecting on the reason you may be keeping something secret from your partner.
Are you adjusting to rigid demands?