How do stop being controlling in a relationship

How to Stop Being Controlling (with Pictures) - wikiHow

how do stop being controlling in a relationship

Women still have high standards for how they expect to be treated. They don't know how to stop being controlling in a relationship and many. The subject of having a possessive or controlling relationship partner may feel So how can you stop the possessive patterns in your relationship? and feelings without being overpowered by them or allowing them to control our behavior. Fear is the opposite of love so you will never get what you truly want and deserve by being controlling. Every relationship we are able to have with another.

But have you ever wondered as to what causes a person to be controlling in nature? This article discusses some of the presumed reasons as to why people develop a controlling behavior.

PsycholoGenie Staff Last Updated: Mar 13, Have you come across any person, or know anyone whose life was controlled by someone else, probably a controlling spouse, or a controlling parent?

Now, you need to understand that there is a difference between advising others what to do, and to continuously go on and on about something that the 'controlling' person wants you to do, and does not stop until you do it! These people tend to control and dominate on each and every aspect of your life, constantly criticize you when you wish to take a stand on your own, are overprotective and jealous of your social life or achievements, especially those which make you happy in a way that was not 'advised' by the controlling personality.

Another trait of this 'extra caring and concerned' person would be that he or she would expect you to be loving and caring towards them and their needs, when they themselves will force you to think about your self-esteem and stand in the relationship Does all this sound familiar to you?

How to Stop Being Controlling in a Relationship

Can you identify yourself with all these instances? If the answer to all these questions is a yes, then you need to understand the causes of a controlling personality in order to understand the core reason behind such an absurd behavior. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. I was born with the ability to quickly envision the most efficient way through a task, activity, project, problem, puzzle, or challenge.

How to Not Be Controlling (with Pictures) - wikiHow

This has made me useful to many people, especially in my workplaces. But it can make people crazy, too. I have always strived for perfection. Yes, it has affected relationships. Wanting things my own way.

how do stop being controlling in a relationship

Commenting about how others were doing things. I always thought I was being helpful! I finally began to understand that some people found my controlling persona annoying. This was a key discovery in my path to letting go of my Control Freak —finally hearing that my ways were often not the most enjoyable ways for other people. Perhaps my way was very efficient, but not necessarily ideal.

You Will be Surprised to Know What Causes a Controlling Personality

I began a personal challenge to unlearn that old behavior. I found a new thing to be perfect about—being perfectly imperfect. Then I accepted that she was officially in my past. I finally let her go.

how do stop being controlling in a relationship

Honestly, that was a moment of great relief. Alternate routes can be delightful.

  • How to Fix a Controlling Relationship

When we try to control someone close to us, we limit them in ways that make them less themselves. We want our partners and ourselves for that matter to be fulfilled, well-rounded individuals who are fully alive. When we make our partner feel guilty for choosing to spend time with friends, for example, we actually shrink their world.

Otherwise, we take the air and life out of the relationship. So how can you stop the possessive patterns in your relationship? The first step is to understand why you engage in controlling behavior, and the second step is to deal with the underlying feelings that drive you toward an unequal dynamic.

how do stop being controlling in a relationship

Most of us have some degree of fear and insecurity surrounding our close relationships. These feelings can spring from deeper struggles we have with trust, low self-esteem, fears of rejection, loss or intimacy itself.

These deep-seated emotions can lead to a desire to control. Instead of exploring where these feelings come from, we tend to project them onto our partner and start acting out controlling behaviors that we hope will alleviate these painful feelings.

You Will be Surprised to Know What Causes a Controlling Personality

For example, we may on some core level feel unlovable or like no one would ever choose us. This negative self-concept can lead us to act out all kinds of jealous or insecure behaviors with our partner. We may act victimized and wounded by any comment or action that we can construe as disregarding or rejecting. All of these behavior patterns have a lot more to do with us than our partner. And most of them have deep roots in our past. As children, we developed strategies or defenses in an effort to protect ourselves from difficult or painful conditions.

These early experiences shaped our expectations about relationships and the defenses we formed then still play out in our lives today.

how do stop being controlling in a relationship

That is why making sense of our own past and exploring our early attachment patterns can be very helpful in understanding our feelings of possessiveness as adults.