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Meet the Spartans () - Meet the Spartans () - User Reviews - IMDb

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I've had chuckles about how bad Epic Movie was, but this Maybe it was the fact that half the audience was laughing at these awful jokes, or the fact that this stupid monstrosity was even green lighted, but after this ended I felt drained of my life. No movie has ever made me feel this way.

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The jokes all feel like ones that 9 year old boys would find hysterical, where everyone else would just hate them. Other than spoof jokes, every other joke is one involving pain.

There were dozens of crotch hits and back breaks. There are also many gross out, vomit, sneezing, and boil bursting jokes.

There was one joke that had me mildly chuckling, but then they killed the joke by over explaining it.

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It didn't need to be explained, a monkey could understand it. Repetitiveness was the only word that comes to mind when watching this. King Leonidas knocks a messenger in the hole, then his two men.

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Okay, not funny, but at least it's over After the credits seem to be over, deleted scenes are shown simply to make the movie more than 70 minutes. During the deleted scenes, Dane Cook, George W.

Bush, Tom Cruise, and Ellen Degeneres are also knocked in the hole. The joke is done 10 times over. The two extremely untalented writers of this mess want to include every movie possible, and mention every celebrity they can, and include any show they can cram in. There are 3 instances of celebrity panels judging the Spartans in this, and it's not like it was a running joke either.

It was just lack of ideas. Much of the celebrity humor was just the celebrities pointing out their character traits. Paris Hilton, who is in a few scenes, but ultimately disappears with no point, talks about her jail time.

Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton also played by Parkerwho tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans.

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When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly. Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff.

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Xerxes Ken Davitianimpressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a " Yo Momma " fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away. Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed.

Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband.

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Following her address to the Council, Traitoro publicly betrays the Queen. The Queen then battles Traitoro in a parody of Spider-Man 3 and defeats him using a dust buster. With Traitoro's deceit exposed, the council is united with the queen. At the Battle of Thermopylaethe Persians introduce their secret weapons, Ghost Rider and Rocky Balboawho kills Sonio with a decapitating uppercut. Captain avenges him with Botox poisoning before being struck down by Xerxes.

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Leonidas pursues Xerxes and plays Grand Theft Auto: Managing to find the " Transformer Cube ", Xerxes uses it in a car to become Xerxestron and shows off his powers to access the " Leave Britney Alone!